Lesson 233. I give my life to God to guide today

Am I willing to receive a “Love whose tenderness I cannot comprehend”? W.233.1.7.

I have given my life to God for years! At least I thought I had.

I remember, years ago, long before I had ever opened the ACIM book, I was on retreat, staying in the peaceful guest lodge of a Nunnery on the Isle of Wight.

Every day the host nun would come to visit. I would come out of my room, hastily closing the door behind me, hoping she would not see my “pagan” circle of pine cones and branches, I had laid on the floor, and in which I sat each day, waiting “on the Presence”, drawing my feelings with pastel colours, meditating, singing…..

The nun and I would sit together in the sitting room and talk. We were the same age, had both been to university, and had lots to share, in terms of our search for Truth. I was on retreat for typical reasons, unhappy living with my boyfriend, frustrated with my work, feeling like my spiritual life was not progressing……most of all some kind of perpetual broken heart.  She asked me if I had given my relationship to God? I was shocked by her question…..I had always felt some kind of competition between my spiritual life and my relationship/sex life…..True, I was using all kind of self help books, and had seen therapists to try to find out what was “wrong with me” that I had never been married…. But I realised I actually didn’t trust God with this huge part of my life, in fact I realised it was a question of either/or.

Well that was fourteen years ago….. and thanks to the teachings of ACIM, I am much more able to give every aspect of my life, my whole self to God, and not feel it is a competition, or that I know better how to run my life, or imagine I know would make me happy.  This morning, in the meditation on the lesson, I found it hard to concentrate, so I began to pray, in my own words about how I wanted to give my life to God, and let Holy Spirit be my guide in EVERYTHING today.  And then I suddenly remembered how giving and receiving are the same….. so if I was giving my life, my work, my relationship life, the friend I was meeting today, decisions I had to make today, my toothache….etc what was I receiving?  Am I open to receive the life that I am giving? Am I willing to hear and allow God, that holy Presence of Love, guide my life? Am I willing to receive a “Love whose tenderness I cannot comprehend”?

Giving our life to God to guide, is not about the relentless shopping list the ego makes of our lives, and expecting Holy Spirit to make it all nice and successful….. it’s truly about letting go “the to do” list, and concentrating on that Presence of Love in everything, and allowing THAT to guide each day.

Blessings on your day, dear companion,  let Love lead us today.  Annie.